Quit, Decide, Faith, and Other Big Ideas of the Year
Quit Your Job, Decide Already!, Faith in Something Greater, Faith in Oneself, Back in the Body
I.
Quit Your Job
This big idea is inspired by Wolf Tivy’s article of the same name in Palladium Magazine.
The extent of cynicism I encounter from others regarding their careers is ludicrous. When I question people about why they persist in their dead-end jobs, the standard reply is, “It’s just a job, and I’m lucky to have one,” or “It pays well enough to keep me coming back.” But how long will that soul-crushing job maintain its grip on you? Another year? A decade? What about forty years? Considering the average career length in the U.S. hovers around 40-45 years, at what point in one’s career do they contemplate whether they are meaningfully investing those 40-45 working years?
It’s widely acknowledged that the average person spends one-third of their waking life at work. Factoring in overtime and extended workweeks, this percentage could soar to 38-45% or even higher. Your work constitutes a substantial portion of your life and significantly shapes the impact and legacy you leave behind. What legacy do you aspire to leave?
If you’re honest with yourself, you probably don’t even know. I only consciously discovered my calling about a year after I quit my job. The uncertainty surrounding one’s purpose while still in the system complicates the decision to take a leap of faith and quit. You’ve inadvertently adhered to all the agreements and rules of the system without understanding who you are and the responsibility you hold for your one and only life. You’ve chosen the system over providence, and the system is what you now know best.
Quitting your job will likely leave you uncertain about what to do next, despite the enticing ideas in your mind. You’ll enter a period of “active leisure,” using this time to rediscover yourself and grapple with your purpose and identity outside of work. As Sam Altman conveys recounting his year-long sabbatical, you’ll experiment with various pursuits, and most won’t pan out. You’ll also face judgment from those whose entire identity is intertwined with their work. Rebelling against the system will prompt others to chastise you out of subconscious envy.
However, if you can endure this struggle without succumbing to the temptation of returning to the system that cunningly obscured your will, you’ll unearth your genuine calling. And as Wolf Tivy says, fulfilling this calling is your cosmic duty.
II.
Decide Already!
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”
Steve Jobs
Before I committed to my current path, I found myself surrounded by enticing opportunities, each appearing equally attractive and valid. I could remain at the job that paid me way too much for minimal effort, go back to school, start a business, travel the world, start a family, or apply to any of the 10,000 jobs that LinkedIn claimed I was a top candidate for (LOL). The options seemed boundless and overwhelmingly daunting. What if I made the wrong choice? Maybe I could dabble in each of these options without fully committing to any single idea, I thought.
We engage in this kind of mental exercise because of our prevailing culture of optionality. Harvard professor Mihir Desai defines optionality as “the state of enjoying possibilities without being on the hook to do anything.” However, I’d challenge the notion of “enjoyment of possibilities” in this definition. While options are great in theory, they can be debilitating in practice. With too many options and limited time, progress in any one endeavor becomes impossible. Instead, as Mo Issa aptly puts it, “we are going around sideways, not upwards or even downwards. At least when down, we can reassess our goals and strategy.”
To counter the paralysis induced by myriad options, a decision must be made. Etymologically, the word “decide” literally means “to cut off.” In other words, to decide, one must eliminate all other options, however tempting they may be. We can only accomplish so much during our limited time on Earth. To achieve something, we must be willing to cut off all other things.
A striking example of obvious decision-making takes place on a recent All-In podcast episode, where Chamath Palihapitiya asks Tucker Carlson if he would consider becoming Donald Trump’s vice president if asked. Tucker responds by stating that he doesn’t respect people who would seize such an opportunity because his fundamental life philosophy is that “you should do what you are designed to do.” He doesn’t believe he was designed to become a politician, so he would likely decline the hypothetical offer. Despite the array of options available to Tucker, including this speculative one, he turns down almost all of them to continue dedicating his heart and soul to what he does best.
To achieve something, we must be willing to cut off all other things.
III.
Faith in Something Greater
In Quit Your Job, Wolf Tivy writes,
“The squirrel has no way of knowing or checking that his instinct to bury the nuts will lead him to new life in the spring; he can only trust that God has given him what he needs.”
In a way, we are that squirrel. We sow seeds with the hope of a future harvest, and we make plans envisioning that we’ll see through their fruition. Life is a series of leaps of faith. Without faith, why would anyone invest in the future in lieu of living for the present? Patience is a virtue because it requires faith.
Over time, I’ve grown to value the diversity of “faith traditions,” each working to guide individuals toward belief in something or someone greater than themselves. These traditions might be entirely accurate in some aspects and completely mistaken in others. As an imperfect human who played no part in the original authorship of these faith stories, I cannot definitively determine what is right or wrong. However, I can tell you that when we put away the volumes that contain our faith, what truly matters in those words is that we believe in something beyond ourselves – whether you call it God, Allah, Infinite Intelligence, Universe, or something else.
Patience is a virtue because it requires faith.
IV.
Faith in Oneself
Intuition, quite literally, means the “tutor within.” Within each of us exists a guiding tutor or guardian that assists us in navigating the complexities of this world. This guardian maintains direct contact with that elusive “Something Greater” in which we trust. In my book The Search for Purpose, I write,
“The faculty of intuition defies precise definition. Because we can’t conclusively pinpoint its source, we wonder if it’s a sixth sense, an emotional faculty, or a spiritual insight. All we know is that it simply exists, a powerful force guiding us in ways that transcend explanation.”
Believing in something so subtle requires authentic faith. Trusting that this potent force resides within us can be the key to transcending even the most formidable challenges we encounter in life.
V.
Back in the Body
For years, I struggled with body issues. While I’ve worked incredibly hard to reunite with my body through physical practices like yoga and improv, I’d be lying if I said that my body issues no longer affect me. Like many others, I bought into Descartes’s concept of dualism, which suggests that the body and mind are separate entities. I adopted this cultural perspective unknowingly, and my former pre-med education didn’t provide me with any alternatives. Beyond dualism, our culture also emphasizes the importance of the mind over the body. In my personal experiences and within the broader societal context, I’ve witnessed the outcomes of this mindset. Health standards have diminished, and body dysmorphia has increased, all while mental health issues have taken precedence.
Many symptoms associated with the mental health crisis - such as emotional distress, significant behavioral changes, difficulty in daily functioning, and thoughts of self-harm – closely resemble those found in trauma patients with alexithymia: the diagnosis given to individuals who cannot sense or communicate what is happening within their bodies. People with alexithymia, as well as those with mental health diagnoses, appear to live entirely within the mind. This symptomatic disconnection between the body and mind can only result after years of consciously cutting off “oneself” from one’s self.
Our bodies possess profound wisdom. Intuition is not a mind-made thought, but a gut-given instinct. It arises within the body, not amidst mental chatter. When we isolate the mind from the body – the very vessel enabling our existence in the world – we lose touch with our selves. To truly understand who we are, we must bring the mind back into the body.
Intuition is not a mind-made thought, but a gut-given instinct.
Happy New Year! ♥ Jen
Wow, calling me out HARD CORE on this one!! I have been laid off since July, and what I’d LIKE to do and what I’m QUALIFIED to do after a 20 year career in it are two different things. I’d like to be a professional genealogist and give people families. I did that for my grandfather 30 years ago when I was in college. He was essentially an orphan, and there was an entire family who had no idea he existed. Pretty much the high point of my lie. I’d like to do that for other people.
What I’ve done for my career is manage contracts for government contracting. As you can imagine, it pays more than genealogy. Of course, that’s not the only thing worth having in life, but I am on my own and have a lifestyle that I’m accustomed to, so... selling my house isn’t optimal right now and I just had the best, most beautiful fireplace built last year, and I love my house... So I guess I could get a roommate, but I’m almost 50 and really don’t want a roommate.
Thanks for taking this trip with me... We’ll see where I end up.
Wow. Every single sentence of this sang out to me. Thank you so much!
A former pro opera soloist, career and friendships ended by the madness, who has moved (unofficially as yet 🤣) to Buenos Aires and is learning to tango, trusting the universe to provide, and honouring my body through the dance.
Sending love, and all the very best for the year to come.
Katy x