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TWOWR's avatar

Congratulations on the wedding. This message resounded, I'm currently reading "Chatter" (Ethan Kross) about our negative (and positive) thinking and how to control it. Also had thought I'd missed a few newsletters, but haven't had time to check why, so I'm glad to see you back in my inbox.

Jen Hitze's avatar

Thank you so much! I’ve had “Chatter” on my bookshelf for a couple years now but haven’t had the opportunity to open it—how are you liking it?

And thank you so much for sticking with me during these turbulent times. I am so appreciative!

TWOWR's avatar

The leading chapter, and some of his references to it through the book, have been a bit triggering. However, what I have gained already by continuing to read has been well worth that discomfort. I have been taking notes as I go. It also isn't as long as it looks, unless you want to read the notes and index sections. Mine is a library copy, so I need to finish it this week.

Jen Hitze's avatar

The last triggering book I read was "The Body Keeps the Score." It was worth getting through those triggers! Chatter does look a bit daunting--but glad to know that there's a lot of notes/index.

TWOWR's avatar

I don't think I've read that yet, but my sister tasks about it all the time. I have "Scattered Minds" by him on my shelf waiting for me to read it.

Jen Hitze's avatar

so many books, so little time!

Adam's avatar

Needed this today

Victoria K.'s avatar

Love, love, love this essay. So much wisdom with a good dose of humor. I feel like I should read it as a reminder every day.

Jen Hitze's avatar

Thank you, Victoria! You make my heart full ♥️

Christina Migone-Benfield's avatar

Oh Jen! So many truths in your post!!!

Thank you for sharing and ALL SORTS OF CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU AND YOUR LUCKY HUSBAND!

Stay safe, happy... and calm :-)

Jen Hitze's avatar

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Your support and kind words mean the world to me 🙏

Laura Hulley's avatar

One of the biggest blocks to happiness are the thoughts we have about what it should look like.

Kade's avatar

Congratulations to you and Hunter! So very happy for the love y’all have between you.

In a funny way, I think sometimes we can glance up at the “cirrus” clouds overhead, pinpoint a particular cloud that gives us a sort of emotional flare up, focus all our attention toward it, and turn it into a “cumulonimbus” cloud full of chaotic energy. Our consciousness changes the clouds!

It is irritating to me that tools like mindfulness and breath work for asserting a degree of control over your mind aren’t taught to all youth. I suppose they are relatively new to the mainstream though.

I have also noticed that substances affect my ability to be mindful and resist identification with thought. Like caffeine in particular but obviously more powerful ones too. Stimulants make you a more productive thinker, but allow you less control over your thinking.

Anyway, thanks for another great post. Always a joy to read!

Jen Hitze's avatar

Thank you so much, Kade! ♥️

And I didn’t even consider that all the clouds could be cirrus, but it’s our own thinking that causes them to become storm clouds. Now that is an idea to ponder. Our own consciousness is indeed a powerful change agent.

Also—I’ve felt the same way about substances. A few years ago, I was prescribed adhd medication (adderall), and while it helped me stay alert and focused, I had little control over my own thought process—much like you described with caffeine, but to a higher degree. I stopped taking it shortly after starting because I wanted my mind back (even if it was an overthinking mind). I can resonate with your feelings on substances hindering mindfulness.

Thank you so much for reading my work and for your support—it means the world to me ♥️

James Bailey's avatar

“And I finally married my favorite person in the whole wide world.”

The most important thing. ❤️

Jen Hitze's avatar

Thank you, James! ♥️

Jeffrey's avatar

Congratulations and sometimes the big idea is to rest and enjoy your moment, your presence with family and friends.

Jen Hitze's avatar

Now this is a big idea! I truly appreciate you, Jeffrey! Thank you for sticking with me through the turbulence 🙏

Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

"What determines whether a thought is 'positive' or 'negative' is our thinking about it." This is such a powerful reminder! It's not the thoughts themselves that cause suffering, but our relationship to them. Maybe the key is to learn to dance with our thoughts, instead of getting tangled up in them.

Jen Hitze's avatar

Thank you, Alexander! ♥️

I love the idea of dancing with our thoughts, understanding their rhythm, and moving with them 🙌🏽

Ryan Delaney's avatar

I love your ideas, lessons and writing in equal measure, Jennifer. Thank you for inspiring me with both. And may you experience unending sweetness in your partnership. 🤗

Jen Hitze's avatar

Thank you so much for your beautiful and intentional words, Ryan! They mean more than you know. I am truly grateful for your support 🙏

Rick Schmidt's avatar

Very good discussion- Jen. Thoughts certainly backoff when we actually sit down and write them, make use of them as "product,"--focus on a longer project like writing a full-length book (even making movies!). Thanks for this posting .

Jen Hitze's avatar

Rick—I love that you brought this up, because I am currently trying to do this now. And, as you know, it’s easier said than done. I think this is why getting into good habits and routines to maintain productive thoughts is so important.

What a good idea—applying our thoughts towards a “product.” We need to give our minds a job to do!

Rick Schmidt's avatar

Good luck with your book or movie! Or, of course, make some traditional artworks (paintings. sculptures, etc,). Working in the Alpha stage (I think that’s what it’s called…). Yes—here’s desc.= An alpha brain state is a relaxed, meditative state of mind associated with alpha brain waves, which are a type of brain wave that oscillate at a frequency of 8–12 Hz.

Jen Hitze's avatar

Thank you, Rick!

α ♥

Donna McArthur's avatar

I appreciate the reminder to be intention about our thoughts. You're right that we can't control all of them but we can respond differently.

Jen Hitze's avatar

Absolutely, Donna! 🙌🏽

And, on another note, I love your new profile picture!

Donna McArthur's avatar

Thanks Jen!

Amy Ray 🍃's avatar

Great writing! Congratulations on your wedding!

Jen Hitze's avatar

Thank you, thank you, Amy!

I truly appreciate you!

jrhurren's avatar

Congratulations!!! :)

Jen Hitze's avatar

Thank you so much, Jeff! And thanks for sticking with me through this turbulent time ♥️

ScreenTekJamesQPublic's avatar

Excellent points and superb writing:!) Congratulations on your marriage !! Peace be with you and your new Family.

Jen Hitze's avatar

Thank you so much 🙏

Ibrahim Khan's avatar

🎉🎊🎉👰‍♀️💐 HEARTIEST CONGRATULATIONS 💐👰‍♀️🎉🎊🎉

Jen Hitze's avatar

🥲♥️

Thank you, Ibrahim!