The Human Condition and Who We Are

The Inner Voice, Rationalizing Resistance, Homecoming, Who We Are, Resolutions

I.

The Inner Voice

“There is nothing more important to true growth than realizing that you are not the voice of the mind – you are the one who hears it.”

Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul

Every human mind comes equipped with an internal narrator. This narrator, also known as “the inner voice,” helps us navigate our way through the world. It’s primarily inaudible—perceived as a stream of thoughts in one’s mind—but it can sometimes emerge through our spoken words. For instance, when my partner works alone on a vehicle, the voice becomes apparent as he vocalizes his frustrations to himself. Similarly, when I waited on tables in college, the voice would surface as I murmured the various tasks needed to perform my job: More napkins for table 24, oil and vinegar for 16, run credit card for 17, take beverage order at 22…

This voice of the mind is the human condition. It’s what allows humans to do what our primate ancestors could not. No other animal talks to themselves as we do. The inner voice can help us devise solutions to complex problems and remember things. But just because it assists us in our daily tasks doesn’t mean it’s always the voice of reason. Far from it, actually.

There are two things every human should know about this internal voice. The first is that the voice is not You. While you hear and interact with the voice, the voice is separate from you. When you engage in self-talk, you’re essentially conversing with this inner voice. You can’t predict what it will say, but you do have a choice in how you react to it. It’s as if you have an inner roommate that never shuts up. Sometimes, it offers helpful advice (e.g., “Remember to put the damp clothes in the dryer!”), while other times, it suggests less-than-helpful thoughts (e.g., “Your boss will never know that expense is a personal one; you should just put it on the company card”).

The second thing to know about the voice is that it never grows up. It’s perpetually youthful, albeit stubborn. When provoked, it throws a temper tantrum. When frustrated, it encourages us to hurl things and shout. When faced with a difficult task, it tries to talk us into distracting ourselves with easier, less meaningful activities. To remain calm and keep on, we must learn how to let go of the voice. When it veers into irrational babbling, we must summon the willpower and self-awareness to release the unhelpful thoughts instead of succumbing to them. The sages and stoics among us aren’t bestowed with a reasoned inner voice; rather, they’ve mastered the art of letting go of it.

II.

Rationalizing Resistance

The inner voice (i.e., the rational mind) makes a great servant. While it serves practical purposes—such as aiding my partner in his car projects or assisting me in writing these 5 Big Ideas—it lacks an inherent desire to undertake challenging tasks. Left to its own devices, the voice would much rather have you scroll through Instagram posts or indulge in reality TV while devouring a Family Size bag of potato chips.

Like a rebellious teenager, the inner voice conjures numerous excuses for why it shouldn’t be engaged in challenging tasks. It may assert that your intuitively driven pursuits are “too hard” or even “impossible.” Its resistance discourages you from harnessing the mind for the demanding tasks it is designed to handle.

Attempting to reason with the inner voice is a futile endeavor; doing so only grants it power over your actions and emotional state. Instead, when the voice starts to put up a fight, let it go. When it stirs up turmoil, breathe deeply and allow the thoughts to gradually subside. Don’t engage with inner nonsense or distractions. The voice has a limited attention span and will eventually abandon the excuses it presents.

The inner voice resists challenging tasks because it doesn’t want to disappoint you. It prefers conserving energy over investing it in endeavors that might fail and lead to future distress. While its hesitancy is understandable, succumbing to its excuses is not the solution. Life is inherently challenging; attempting to negotiate with your inner voice only introduces unnecessary complexity.

(Also: Check out Kirsten Powers’ recent article on Resistance)

III.

Homecoming

Hearing Dad unravel is a rare occurrence, but that’s all I could hear (and feel) when I called him last night. In the hospital room, he and his siblings clung to hope for their dying mother, reassuring her that she would soon return home. However, the doctor conveyed that all signs pointed otherwise.

Over the phone, Dad said, “We told her she’s coming home, but she’s not.” His voice trembled, mirroring the emotional distress emulating from Aunt Linda in the background. Having recently changed my perspective on death (and my relationship with it), I anticipated a degree of immunity to this news as I would perceive Grandma’s passing as a liberation from her prolonged suffering. Upon hearing Dad's words, my initial thoughts were, “But grandma is coming home. She’s returning to the place that we all come from. She’s going home—to the home we all belong.”

We deeply understand that this Earth and this human body are not our true home. They represent a temporary existence in a temporary place. Our journey begins with birth, and we return home through death—every one of us.

But through my father’s grief, I’ve come to understand that it’s not the act of dying—the passing away, the returning home—that profoundly impacts us; instead, it’s the enduring pain and suffering borne by those we care about. When someone passes, we tell their loved ones, “I’m sorry for your loss,” but what we really mean is, “I’m sorry for your pain.”

We carry generational pain and bear suffering so that our loved ones no longer have to. When conversing with my Dad, it’s his pain that echoes and permeates my heart, not so much Grandma’s. She’s going home.

IV.

Who We Are

At our core, we are metaphysical beings. In other words, we are spiritual souls navigating life in a physical form. I am even open to the notion that, before our birth, we play a role in determining the circumstances of our entry into this world. As life is inherently a journey of learning, it’s plausible that we deliberately choose challenging situations to gain the most significant insights during our time here.

While our entry point into this world is through our mother, our origin is not solely tied to our parents. While bestowed with a human body, our essence extends beyond the physical form. Though our upbringing may shape our thoughts, we enter this world with our own unique ideas. We transcend the limitations of our human existence, because this existence is but an experience.

To delve deeper, I’d like to share this passage from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran:

“Your children are not your children.

They are sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you.

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.”

(Also: Check out Mo Issa’s recent article on Kahlil Gibran)

V.   

Resolutions

We’re well into January, and I haven’t set any New Year’s resolutions yet. Despite having at least five valid excuses for the delay, the truth is, I lack the desire for resolutions this year.

Since high school, I’ve made resolutions annually. Most years, they were related to weight loss (mirroring my mother’s resolutions), but in recent years, they’ve had more to do with productivity and profitability. Each January, I’d compile a list of objectives driven by a mindset that said, “You’re not good enough. Try harder, do more, be more.”

I’ve grown sick and tired of talking to myself in this way. So this year, my resolution is: no more resolutions.

And my accompanying mindset is this:

You’re not a Silicon Valley start-up; you’re a human. You don’t have to show anybody any numbers. All you have to show people is your true self.

Enjoy this opportunity to exist as you are. Do what brings you joy. Try new things. Be kind to other humans. Smile often. And remember, you are already more than enough.